Being a girl in Pakistan can make you feel like an animal in a cage, like the ones in Lahore Zoo, where leering and jeering is the norm. I want to clarify that not all Pakistani men are disgusting, but it’s amazing how many are, how many are looking for women to take advantage of. And it has nothing to do with lack of education. Even the most prestigious institutions have churned out generations of boys who have made a sport of misogyny and the crapfest known as the annual slut list. It doesn’t help that some girls take being mentioned as a compliment.
A reformed pacifist, I now think boys who go throwing around the word “slut” should be kneed in the tennis equipment. I don’t even know what to say about girls who use it for other girls. Women themselves deepening the disrespect our society has come to have for women – bleak.
This site is a perfect example of our surreal society and how the average Pakistani man looks at women. And children too, apparently. Completely mind blowing, disgusting and total objectification. No wonder more and more women are starting to cover their faces and wear colorless, black abayas. The more lecherous men become, the more women go into hiding. The day all women have gone into nikaabs, even a woman eating in public will be considered provocative, if she isn’t already.
I’ve seen girls surreptitiously lifting their nikaabs before taking each bite, each time swiveling their heads around to make sure no boy is within a 50 yard radius. While I previously wondered how they could stand to make so much effort just to have a snack in public, I can now understand to some degree. “Women in burqas can stare with abandon, peer with curiosity, even laugh with derision with formerly unknown freedom at any and every male that crosses their path,” writes Rafia Zakaria for Guernica.
But where does that leave girls like me? It’s my belief that all women should be treated with the same respect regardless of what they wear, but some people even find offense in that, because “women who wear hijab are better.”
I was one of the more conservatively dressed girls in private school, but I’m now the girl that pushes the limits. I haven’t worn sleeveless in public since I was 10 and I haven’t worn jeans and T-shirts in public since moving to Pakistan. Even in traditional Pakistani clothes, I still stand out like a zebra in a horse pen.
What was traditional before is no longer aligned with our new traditions. Not even long shirts past the knees look conservative enough when about 80-90% of the girls in your class are wearing hijabs and at least 2/10 of them cover their faces as well. Being the one girl who neither covers her face or her hair can make you feel overexposed. I now understand the defiance required to walk around south Georgia with a pink mohawk, multiple piercings and palm-sized ear plugs. Some days you want to lash out at the people who stare at you and make you feel like a freak, other days you just put your bitch-face on and ignore them. Each day requires a certain amount of energy to not conform to your surroundings. If I were to start wearing a hijab, I wouldn’t want it to be because of this kind of peer pressure, resentment spoiling what should to be an act of choice. “Let there be no compulsion in religion,” anyone?
Leaving hair untied and flowing past the shoulders is a daring act, one that got me kicked out of class once. In a class of nearly 300 people, the only girl with naked, untied hair is a “distraction” especially if she keeps tucking it behind her ears while in thought during the course of note-taking. Naked, untied, hair that you’re touching? Completely disrespectful and shameless. It felt like my cheeks were blazing with embarrassment when I was told the reason for being banished. In class, the girls with their faces covered are free to slip in earbuds and listen to music or talk to each other without getting caught. So it is starting to appear that women in nikaabs do have more freedom in Pakistan. Where that leaves girls like me is yet to be seen.
hahahaha !! u put it very well though! I defer with one point here that lack of education is the reason for a man to fall in lust. What i believe is Somewhere it is the parent’s duty to teach their child what is wrong and what is right. It’s their role to education their children. It is the understanding that is inherited in a child which then goes on to generations. If a child understands about the wrong acts and obscenity that can make a huge difference.
overall it was very well written, hope to see more in future
probably this is the first blog i ever came accross that said: “So it is starting to appear that women in nikaabs do have more freedom in Pakistan.” literally thats not true but yeah i agree with u and i do feel bad for those who dont wear a hijab and are mistreated. a hijab does not define a “good” or “bad” girl… the character does!
Eloquently written article. I do agree with your observations, however, I feel it’s a bit controversial topic you raise your pen at. Don’t you feel this type of ogling is getting quite common is Pakistani girls as well? Probably, it may just be reactive of what women in our society suffer for decades, but that’s a different debate. By saying that, I’m not stressing that it’s a trait practised in majority, men are still dominant, but it’s something worth consideration, I think, for the subject of this article.
Amna! Wow” You write very well, good use of language, ironic and you display of sharp sense for writing chronicles. You grab the reader! I hope you never stop writing since you are a voice from a world hidden from a lot of people. I live in sweden, so I am in the opposite world from you, in so many ways. Yet similarities could be tied. I even read it out loud to a friend and we mused about life in Pakistan. I like the start with the nikaabs and freedom, it really hooked. If you allow I would like to link some of your stories to my twitter friends and FB friends as well? I have also read many of your reporting too, the book in the library was just irritating. I remember you once wrote on twitter that sometimes life in Pakistan can be just impossible sometimes and you simply just walk away. So I started to think of my life and situation and I wrote a quote as comment to your impossibility comment. You can read it hear http://bit.ly/rr1EnE
Thank you for being a voice that echoes no matter how far away. Take care of yourself.
Always your friend
/Robert
That quote is actually quite inspiring! And of course, sharing is highly appreciated. Thanks for reading.
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Cycle: The more lecherous men become <> the more women go into hiding.
Oh the dreams I have of my birthplace becoming civil, modern and beautiful, and then I wake up.
I hope you find freedom.
Very nice article although it’s all your viewpoint on Hijab but the thing you raised related with filthy masculine society, is a bitter truth of our culture. I’m very sad to see this type of people living in our society specially those who made dirty comments on pictures, the link which you’ve mentioned.
I must thank Robert Linbdberg for connecting me with your blog. It is an eye-opener. I had no idea that women covered themselves for protection from male insults. I thought it was for religious purposes though I do not understand that either. How long will it take for brave women to change a culture that allows women to be treated like zoo animals?
I’m quite astonished to read about what happened to you in class. They should set up a uniform then. Never really heard of such a thing happening in a med school in Pakistan.
Duuude I know. When I got kicked out, I was told to come back later to find out why I was being kicked out. So while I was hyperventilating outside, I was running through what I could have possibly done wrong in my mind. Wasn’t talking, was taking notes…was touching my hair. Shit. But no – no one would kick me over a thing like hair…I’m almost 23! This is college! They can’t do that! Shit, but people here sometimes get offended when you haven’t tied up your hair. Untied hair is bad manners. What if this teacher is one of those people? Oh crap. It was tangled and I was running my fingers through it to flip it back. I was mid flip when I got called on, so I suspected it was the hair. But I was really hoping it wasn’t…because that would be even more humiliating than having to walk all the way down with several hundred students quietly watching. Getting kicked out of class for flipping your hair while taking notes made me feel like such an airhead bimbo. Too bad I don’t have a chihuahua and a pink convertible…then I could pretend to be the Elle Woods of med school.